Interpersonal Attraction

1. Sometimes the chemistry between two people is more than the sexual attraction, or the emotional attraction, it is the physical attraction. There are many causes of attraction and the most common causes of the attraction between people is social reinforcement. For example:

Propinquity effect

According to Aronson, Wilson, & Akert, (2010), propinquity effects refers to the effect of familiarity between people. As people become more familiar with each other, they develop some sort of relationship that finally turns from social to sexual. As friends continue to interact, they are friend-zoned and entertain sexual relationship and sexual attraction.

Reciprocal liking

This is attraction created by the tendency of a person to like back only those who like them. For example, a person tries to reciprocate the love, or friendly gestures they receive. The most common factors that determine the extent of liking include personal beliefs, and self esteem

Physical attractiveness

Physical attractiveness refers to individual subjective preferences when it comes to beauty. What a person may consider attractive may not be attractive to another, However, this cause of attraction is premised on the argument that people tend to feel attracted to others who meet their subjective preferences such as Sexual dimorphism, scents, behavours, and racial bias

2. There are two main types of love companionate love and passionate love. The companionate love is the plutonic love people develop that arouses intimacy and affection but does but does not create passion in the person’s presence. This is the kind of love shown in the media, which is mainly a form of infatuations, and not true love and is mostly sex driven (Aronson, Wilson, & Akert, 2003). The passionate love is characterized by longing for affection in the absence and presence of the other party and in most case; this is experienced between married partners in their early marriage. This happened to me when I met my husband in college and during our honeymoon

3. The main patterns of attachment are embodied in their characteristics. For example:

Secure attachment

Secure attachment is characterized by high levels of distress when people are separated from those providing them with care, and turn into joy when the individual are in the presence of their caregivers’ or example, children may feel secure and become more dependent and trusting even into adulthood. That is why scared children seek comfort and reassurance (Anderson, 2003, pp. 8–11).

Ambivalently attached

The ambivalent attachment is also another form of attachment characterized by distressed children in the event that one parent leaves them. For example, chidden who have this form of attachment are those of absentee parents because they know they cannot trust their parent to be available when they are in need (Kerns, 2008, pp. 366–82).

Avoidant attachment

This form of attachments is common especially amongst the truant children as they try to avoid their caregivers and in most cases are likely to prefer total strangers to their parents.

when a male child with secure attachment is in a relationship with an ambivalently attached girl, they bond together because the girl did not have a caregiver or a parent who was there for her when in need and the boy wanted somebody to feel closer to be secure. In such case, the two bond easily because they find solace in each other (Bretherton, 1992, p. 759).

4. Intimate relationship ends in phases. For example:

Phase 1: The intrapersonal phase

This is the phase in which a person starts feeling dissatisfied with their relationship and develops negative feelings and starts showing that he or she is fed up with the partner. For example, Aronson, Wilson, & Akert, (2003) states that they focus on the behavours, and start evaluating negative aspects of the relationships while at the same time conducting a cost-benefit analysis of quitting or staying in the relationship

Phase 2: The dyadic phase:

This phase is marked with confrontation of the partners and starts discussing the future of their relationship while at the same time trying to repair of reconcile with the partner (Aronson, Wilson, & Akert, 2003).

Phase 3 is the social phase where each partner tries to negotiate the post breakup state with their previous partners while they gossip about the weakness of their ex-partners. In most case, people start the blame game (Aronson, Wilson, & Akert, 2003).

Phase 4 is the intrapersonal phase characterized with ex-partners seeking social or support groups to help them get over their ex-partners. They develop their own stories about the breakup to save face and avoid ridicule

The psychological and physiological responses for the breakers and the breakers include the breakees feeling guilty and responsible for the breakup while the breakers experience a lot of distress over their breakup (Aronson, Wilson, & Akert, 2003).

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